Before each shift I find myself having a little bit of anxiety about what is in front of me. I worry I could miss something in the rush of the day. I like to think just a bit of anxiety is a good way not to get too comfortable at my job, and stay on my toes.
I remember waking up each morning when Alex had just come home from the NICU with a knot in my gut. NG tube care, projectile reflux, aspiration pneumonia were constant worries each and everyday. Then with Max, going to bed at night worrying if his blood sugar will drop too low.
Just as I did then with Alex, and just as I do when I lay in bed at night, when I walk into work I take each task as it comes, and when it is overwhelming I remind myself how far I have come, what I have learned, all the battles I have won, and all the fears I have overcome. I tell myself to be brave, and bloom.
I took this picture near the farm I grew up on.
Always keep your face to the sunshine so you cant see the shadows. Its what the sunflowers do.
"I think we are all golden sunflowers inside." Allen Ginsberg