Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Finding his voice.....

I knew this would be difficult.
I didn't worry about it, I felt when it was time, we would know what to do.
We would find the way.
In preparation from well, about day 10 of his life, when the ear muffs came off. I have been reading to Alex. Singing to Alex. Signing to Alex. In the back of my head I thought, he is going to be the RTS kid that talks at a typical time with no problem. Anyone else do that? Of course the geneticist shot that one down, but in those early days I hoped.......
Then time ticked on, and no talking, and only occasional da da da, that will come on all of the sudden, and then be lost just as fast as it came.
Alex will be 3 soon, and its time he had a voice.
Here is an example: Max loves to be near Alex, or any brother for that matter.
Max will sidle anyone that is near and low, and most of the time that is Alex.
He will sit on, crawl over, grab, pull up on anyone within reach.
He loves people, he must be with people.
Alex on the other hand, while he appreciates a kind heart and a good game of ball, really enjoys playing by himself.
When Max comes up close to him he knows the grabbing pulling, and innocent attacking is immanent.
So, since he is unable to say "No Max", or "Mommy, Max is pulling my hair" he pushes Max away from him.
He will even go as far as pushing, and crawling while pushing to get Max a certain distanceaway, so he can continue playing, without Max.
When Max is persistent however, Alex will eventually give up, and leave his activity, just to get his space.
Its sad on both ends.
Max just wants to be with his brother, and Alex cant tell him no.
I can not let him push, its just not socially acceptable, having said that my heart smiled when I saw how assertive Alex was with his space.
Alex will be a big man someday, and he must know that pushing isn't ok.
School starts in a matter of weeks.

Ive gotta help this boy find his voice....


tm in mo said...

you have such a gift with words! ! ~ I can feel your love and frustration! LUV YA and continue to pray for strenth and patience and all those other attributes moms need :)

Dani said...

I feel your frustration, Noelle just Cries when she does not want her sisters messing with her and pushes or bites or pinches, I have lots of bruises from her right now she seems very frustrated lately and I dont know what to do or what she wants. I am lost right now.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Poor Alex ... I can only imagine how frustrated he must get. Good tihng he can crawl away when he's had enough.

Terri H-E said...

Yes! The 2 parts of helping Alex find his voice are teaching him to convert his existing (and clear to him!) voice to something generally recognized and accepted (sign, gestures, symbols, speech output...etc) and then teaching others to hear it and respond faithfully as part of your prince.

It can be done! We were right here not that long ago and now Addie is coming up with plans and sharing them with me.

Right alongside you in this. What an exciting time.

Michelle said...

your description fits my boys to a 'T'! Andrew is constantly bugging Austin for attention or for him to play with him but Austin just wants to play alone. If Andrew comes near Austin, Austin gets up and leaves the room or like you said pushes Andrew away. Sometimes this ends up in a 'fun fight' which gets both the boys laughing. It's very hard to show Austin that he can't push anyone who gets in his 'bubble' but there's no other option for him. Very difficult!