This is hard.
There are times it seems impossible.
The hardest part isn't the tube feeding, the therapy, the doctor visits, the surgery, the IEP meetings, the testing, the developmental delay.
I got all that down.
Most days all that is easy.
The hard part is not being able to fully communicate.
Yes, its coming.
He is starting to sign, but we are still both left frustrated most days not understanding one another. He will sign book, but want something else.
Then when you throw in a sickness with the lack of communication, I go numb.
Things going great and easy can change in a instant over something that would be so simple and small for a typical developing child.
A few days before we left for vacation Alex started acting off, not sick, just different. He would occasionally throw up, but that isn't necessarily odd. The morning we left for vacation I took him in to see the doctor and he tested positive for strep! He couldn't tell me his throat hurt. This is a guessing game, and I feel blind. The week we got back from vacation he spikes a fever and is in some serious pain. All he can do is cry, and all I can do is guess. Today I am taking him to the doctor to help me guess. WHY CANT HE TALK?!?! I hate RTS.
How can I possibly help him when I don't know what to fix.
When I call the doctor the nurse will ask me how he is drinking. My answer is always he doesn't drink, is there another way we can evaluate his needs? I mean really.
There are days I DON'T want this for him or for me.
I want him to talk, I want him to tell me anything.
There are times this seems impossible...... This child has acheieved the impossible before, while showing me how to overcome it.