Yep, I surrender! Not I am defeated, or I give up...............
When Alex was born, and I had that awful talk with the geneticist. I made it my one, and only mission to get the boy to talk, get the boy to eat, get the boy to grow, get the boy to not have RTS.
If I prayed the right prayer he wouldn't have RTS, and his thumbs would straighten. If I read enough books to Alex, he would talk, if I shoved the bottle in his mouth enough he would drink, if I fed him all day long he would grow.
Well, he aspirated his bottles, and got pneumonia, scrap that, and we have the feeding tube! His thumbs are still adorable, and angulated. Dang, that didn't work either!
Then I focused on talking, and growing.
Slowly but surely he is growing, is it because of me feeding him everything I could?
Nope, he grows when he grows. Now I must say that without our nutritionist guiding us, he wouldn't have grown as well, but still she finds him a bit of a growing mystery.
There are weeks he does great at eating, and drops in weight, there are weeks he is sick, and throws up a TON, and gains weight.
Then the talking, the one we all stress over the most, yes, we still read to Alex, yes I still hope he will talk, but will it be because I read 100 different books to him before kindergarten, a great idea for all kids I might add.
No, if Alex is programmed to talk he will, and if its not with his voice he will find his own way. Just like he has with everything else.
Alex is who he is, I will still help him do his very best, and he will continue to help me do my very best, but I'm not going to worry, and wish, and think I can make him who he isn't. I don't try and change my other children, well, lets just say I cant change who they are. Alex is no different, he is who he is, he doesnt need to be fixed, and he will achieve his very best.
I surrender, and I let go of worry, and wishing.
Here is to watching in amazement!
Here is to hope, and not wishing and worrying!
As my RTS sister says....CHEERS!