Monday, July 6, 2009

What did we do in Colorado?

We saw fireworks..... Because of the wood floors Alex did LOTS of cruising, and even pushing his toys around and walking......

Jumping........



Exploring the mountains with cousins.........
















We Remembered............





Alex started eating one entire nutrigrain bar everyday. Yes, it takes him all day, but that's 130 extra calories!




We licked the horses salt block........













We played at a fabulous park..............




















We splashed in the water..................






We swung............



We saw rainbows...................




The truth is it wasn't all rainbows for me, Alex did fantastic. He adjusted to sleeping in a new place, he didn't cry on the plane, he let people love on him, and he played like he was at home. He ate better than he ever has, and only threw up once. For some reason though our first vacation with Alex was a gigantic reminder of how different things are now. How much harder it is, and how easy it used to be. Nothing significant happened to make me feel this way, maybe because I was out of my normal environment, my normal routine, maybe because it was my first time to Colorado with Alex. What ever it was it was like the GIGANTIC RTS hand was slapping me right in the face, and I had a really hard time accepting it. I just wanted to be on vacation with all my boys, have easy going days, and relax, but there really isn't relaxing with syndromes. Its just part of this new normal.
















9 comments:

Sara said...

Jessica,

I am so sorry that this vacation wasn't all rainbows for you. You're right....it should be syndrome-free.

I know you felt it slap you in the face, but I also know that something beautiful will come out of it.

You inspire so many of us here. I hope you know that.

Sending you a mommy hug, a smile, and a prayer....

Sara

Brandi said...

It looks like all of the boys had a great trip! It's encouraging that Alex did so well with sleeping and eating. I'm sure it will make traveling a little more easy next time.

I'm sorry it was so much work for you though. We just experienced the same thing while our friends were here. Tube feedings, oximeter, medications. It was a lot of extra work just packing all of those things on top of using them everyday. How I look at it now is that I finally got to get out and do something "normal". Nathan had so many smiles and was exposed to new sights, sounds, smells, people and he did just fine. The flip side is that I needed a few days to recover from all of the extra work.

Love you friend!

The VW's said...

What a great vacation! I'm happy for you that you had an opportunity to do all of this!

I understand the mixed feelings though! Life will never again be the same as it was. I've been having similiar feelings lately. Hang in there! HUGS!

Finding Normal said...

Great pics. I'm sorry it wasn't all rainbows. I officially dub that Vacation Syndrome. It sucks. Mine is usually caused by people saying stupid things and staring, so in reality it happens anytime we're out in public, but it seems worse on vacation. Probably because I just want to relax and be normal. :/

Kelly said...

Girl...I know! Your post made me cry. I wish we didn't have to wish for different situations. I wish it was all easy. I wish I could have my girls with me and their babies all day in a commune and RTS was normal. Each trip, each day, each rainbow...will make it easier!

I love you!
Kelly W.

Alicia said...

The salt lick cracked me up!!! Hilarious!

I wish the trip could have been better for you. I hate those times when reality slaps you in the face, it is so hard. Sounds like the boys had a great time and Alex did really well, so that is a blessing.

I hope things will settle down for you a bit until your next little one arrives. I'm praying for you friend.

Myssie said...

I will love you through it girl! Love ya!!

Terri H-E said...

I totally get you. Visiting family is the hardest for me - too many reminders of how carefree it used to be, too much to explain or choose not to explain to people who care, but who inadertantly keep shoving the challenges back in your face by their concern.

We take a week each summer to just head up to a small resort area north of here. We don't really know anyone and that is much easier. Yep, people stop and smile and point when Addie halts on the sidewalk to look at things from an upside down tripod. It is cathartic for me to interact with them as though they were just pulled in by how charming she is. Because they really were. They don't see any tragedy or reason for pity or concern. That's refreshing to me.

But visiting family/friends on a trip is so much more complicated, makes me so much more on edge for vague reasons, none of them having to do with any grave drama or ill intentions on anyone's part. Just that magnified feeling of "things are different now."

I get you. When I figure out how to take that feeling away, I'll give you a holler ;\

Anonymous said...

My son has autism, and I know just how you feel. Most days, my son (who just turned 4)our normal is good. He's a happy guy and we enjoy our days. But there are those days, like his birthday, when he just didn't get that it was his birthday, and when he managed to blow out 1 of the 5 candles, it was such a big deal to us, that is comes and slaps you hard that your normal isn't.
I'm just thankful, most days I get to enjoy.