This is it! My last day of ignorant bliss. You see, I'm frozen in time, to the night I found out that I am pregnant, my mind hasn't really followed along with this pregnancy. Part of it is fear, ok most of it is fear, and I just cant seem to get my mind to catch up with the pregnancy. I'm frozen. With all my boys I was making lists of names at this point, picking out clothes thinking about paint colors, an due dates. But I'm frozen.
Tomorrow morning I go into the doctor at 8:00 am central time for my sonogram. I will be 22 weeks pregnant. The same high risk doctor that did all my 3D scans with Alex will be doing this scan. No one suspects that there is or will be a problem, they are just making me comfortable, and being extra careful.
It was this sonogram that the cyst was found on Alex's tummy/umbilical cord, it was this time they noticed his short femurs, and my abundance of amniotic fluid.
It was that sonogram that began this new normal.
To be honest, I don't want to go in at all, I would rather just meet the baby when he/she is born. I'm worried their will be something wrong, I'm worried they might suspect something, and then cause worry for no reason. I used to be a need to know person, and still am I guess, but not with this.
So many people ask me if I have found out what we are having, if we are going to find out, is it a boy or a girl, as if that is the only thing to be concerned about when one is pregnant. I haven't given it one thought to what we are having, I don't have an instinct, and I honestly can say I just want healthy.
I just want my ignorant bliss...........I don't want my world turned upside down, inside out.
I will be twittering all day tomorrow, so you can know my every move.