Since I began this new normal, this incredible journey, this up hill climb, I have heard many people say "God never gives you more than you can handle", or "He chose you because He knew you could do a good job", and even "I know I couldn't raise a special needs child".
I hate to take the beauty out of those nice thoughts, but I cant handle this, I cant do this either. This is too big for me, but I have to do it.
Alex is my boy, of course I will do this, of course I will choose to handle this. I'm not some special creature that was created to do super things that others cant do.
It seems people find relief in saying they couldn't do it, so that's why God hasn't given them a special needs child. Like they get a free pass on raising a special child because they just know they couldn't handle it.
I'm no different than those people who think they cant. Well, the difference is I have to, and I choose to do the best I can.
Don't treat me like I was chosen, or I am better, or stronger, because I'm not. This is hard, I cant, I kick and scream, but I have to, so I will, and I will do the best I can every minute of everyday, not because I'm stronger or better, or can handle more, because I cant, but because I have to, so I will, and I will do the best I can.
We are the same.